Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Why do you have to do this to me?

For the past 2 years we've been together,
You see me eating,
smiling,crying,
clothed, naked,
when I'm awake, when I'm asleep
Together we build our dreams together of becoming the best
You're the reason my bored life is breath with joy,
As much as you're the reason I could complete all my tasks,
You make me unable to .... take my eyes off you

But why, why, you make me find solace to my heart with another being?
Why?
WHY??
WHY?????
Why now ....
Why do you suddenly depart from my presence? Why did you suddenly snap out of me?
How would my life be without YOU..

Do you intend to cheat me all this while? Is this why you become cheap!?!?
The fate of our relationship... it's just all shadows overcast.
For all I know,
I will long for you for at least 7 days from now.
But, will we be apart ....... forever?

But,
But maybe our temporary distant relationship is for a better future

I will miss your electrifying aura.
I will miss your colorful face.
I will miss touching your body
I will miss playing with the mouse that has bound our love all this while

I'll pay whatever it takes to overcome the obstacles
But if it's too expensive, then I'll just get a new laptop lah (but I don't know when)

Till I see you again, HP pavilion dv1000...




MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


Thursday, July 26, 2007

I went home just now....


Penampang, of Kota Kinabalu city


After zooming in zooming out, and (almost) aimless tracing home, finally found it. It's an incredible journey! zoom at your pleasure


p/s Distance between home and cemetery ground = 100m. Sometimes I go home very late at night. Very.

ooooooo0o0o0o00000o0ooo........



Pre Kenya trip blog entry

Fact #1: I'm officially broke. After a somewhat series of unfortunate events (hence the previous earlier blog entry), I end up using some of my 'emergency' money. Maybe justified lah, unfortunate events = emergency also what. If not, I'll end up canceling my WHOLE Kenyan trip and not refunded any single penny/cent!

JPA £££ nowhere to be seen. Hopefully by the end of the week.


Fact #2: I've been jabbed 4 times in 2 weeks. All in the name of avoiding suffering from infections when I return from Kenya. Vaccinations taken: Hep A, DTP, Typhoid, Yellow fever. Yellow fever vaccination certificate is officially needed to enter African countries. If you refused to get a vaccination, then you'll be forbidden to enter the country.


Fact #3: Despite the some brilliant researchers successfully making you immune against Yellow fever for up to 10 years with just one injection, the £50 (RM350!!!! That's at least 70 nasi ayam! or 70 wantan hor!) fee imposed is still not acceptable.

gee.. thanks, but no thanks


Fact #4: Nairobi City center. That's where I'm going to stay in Nairobi for 3 days when program ends on 25th (I'll be at a faraway city called Kisumu before that). After (the same) series of unfortunate events, I currently don't have a traveling company. It's very hard to contact the rest of my other 20+ friends to check on what they are going to do right after the program ends. Probably I'll get to meet Omair, a course mate who is already there in Kenya (NOW) having fun and becoming wasted.

Well, not like I care. I have traveled alone before this. In a foreign country.

It's very easy for me to imagine how dodgy things will be in Nairobi. However, after looking tthe pictures, things are looking up very brightly actually. It all boils down to this: Wherever you go in this world, you can find both heaven and hell in any one city.


Fact #5: I pay everything for my trip using my own money. How much? Sufficient to say, which otherwise I can afford a very, very luxurious holiday in Europe, and still have gone back home to Malaysia .

Though, I really, really hope the experience I get from Kenya get will be priceless.



CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!


Tuesday, July 24, 2007

*sigh*

Confidence is pretty low now....feel reeeeeeeeeeally small

No, I must be strong


I.... must.......not..........give.............up

never. ever.

Whitechapel at 4 am



You have to have the darkness for the dawn to come.
Harrison Ford



End of July summer


Give light, and the darkness will disappear of itself.
Desiderius Erasmus


Saturday, July 21, 2007

I S F J

ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed." In extreme cases, this need is so strong that standard give-and-take relationships are deeply unsatisfying to them; however, most ISFJs find more than enough with which to occupy themselves within the framework of a normal life. (Since ISFJs, like all SJs, are very much bound by the prevailing social conventions, their form of "service" is likely to exclude any elements of moral or political controversy; they specialize in the local, the personal, and the practical.)


ISFJs are often unappreciated, at work, home, and play. Ironically, because they prove over and over that they can be relied on for their loyalty and unstinting, high-quality work, those around them often take them for granted--even take advantage of them. Admittedly, the problem is sometimes aggravated by the ISFJs themselves; for instance, they are notoriously bad at delegating ("If you want it done right, do it yourself"). And although they're hurt by being treated like doormats, they are often unwilling to toot their own horns about their accomplishments because they feel that although they deserve more credit than they're getting, it's somehow wrong to want any sort of reward for doing work (which is supposed to be a virtue in itself). (And as low-profile Is, their actions don't call attention to themselves as with charismatic Es.) Because of all of this, ISFJs are often overworked, and as a result may suffer from psychosomatic illnesses.

In the workplace, ISFJs are methodical and accurate workers, often with very good memories and unexpected analytic abilities; they are also good with people in small-group or one-on-one situations because of their patient and genuinely sympathetic approach to dealing with others. ISFJs make pleasant and reliable co-workers and exemplary employees, but tend to be harried and uncomfortable in supervisory roles. They are capable of forming strong loyalties, but these are personal rather than institutional loyalties; if someone they've bonded with in this way leaves the company, the ISFJ will leave with them, if given the option. Traditional careers for an ISFJ include: teaching, social work, most religious work, nursing, medicine (general practice only), clerical and and secretarial work of any kind, and some kinds of administrative careers.


While
their work ethic is high on the ISFJ priority list, their families are the centers of their lives. ISFJs are extremely warm and demonstrative within the family circle--and often possessive of their loved ones, as well. When these include Es who want to socialize with the rest of the world, or self-contained ITs, the ISFJ must learn to adjust to these behaviors and not interpret them as rejection. Being SJs, they place a strong emphasis on conventional behavior (although, unlike STJs, they are usually as concerned with being "nice" as with strict propriety); if any of their nearest and dearest depart from the straight-and-narrow, it causes the ISFJ major embarrassment: the closer the relationship and the more public the act, the more intense the embarrassment (a fact which many of their teenage children take gleeful advantage of). Over time, however, ISFJs usually mellow, and learn to regard the culprits as harmless eccentrics :-). Needless to say, ISFJs take infinite trouble over meals, gifts, celebrations, etc., for their loved ones--although strong Js may tend to focus more on what the recipient should want rather than what they do want.


Like
most Is, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment's notice. (However, like most Fs they hate confrontation; if you get into a fight, don't expect them to jump in after you. You can count on them, however, run and get the nearest authority figure.) Unlike with EPs, the older the friendship is, the more an ISFJ will value it. One ISFJ trait that is easily misunderstood by those who haven't known them long is that they are often unable to either hide or articulate any distress they may be feeling. For instance, an ISFJ child may be reproved for "sulking," the actual cause of which is a combination of physical illness plus misguided "good manners." An adult ISFJ may drive a (later ashamed) friend or SO into a fit of temper over the ISFJ's unexplained moodiness, only afterwards to explain about a death in the family they "didn't want to burden anyone with." Those close to ISFJs should learn to watch for the warning signs in these situations and take the initiative themselves to uncover the problem.




Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Fountain display

Fancy watching a beautiful water display? This is the all famous Fountain of Bellagio.

Watch it!



I found this while searching for Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman's "Time to say goodbye" (Their song is in the background). I didn't know Bocelli is blind!
But their voices are damn powerful!!



p/s Fountain of Bellagio is in Las Vegas, despite the Eiffel Tower.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Academic year review

Congrats, DOCTOR Vasantha and DOCTOR Hani!

Well, good for them. 5 years of training, and now they are already there! After all those hard work and sacrifices they had made, now they finally earned the well-deserved title 'Doctor'

Needless to say, I cannot wait for my turn too. I look forward to be practicing as a medical doctor (whether in Malaysia, or possibly UK). But I think I haven't developed the core knowledge and skills that strong yet . I haven't achieved the kind of maturity that a professional doctor should have.

Duh, Aaron. That's why medical course is 5 years long. And you're not even in 3rd year yet.

Looking back at these years back, I sometimes questioned whether my basic knowledge is solid, given the DIY nature of my medical school. My tendency is such that I go too deep or shallow or certain topics, and I got into trouble when those shallow-ly covered came out. Somehow I felt that some of the exam marks did not correctly justify (or so I thought) my knowledge. I really loved to read some of them in more detail, but I guess exam demands led me to forgo some of those things.

If there's one thing that I can do to change the preclinal years education here at Barts, that would to emphasize a lot 100000000000000X more on anatomy and physiology. I just feel that we're not doing enough of that.

Let bygones be bygones now.

Well, having done my two years here, I look forward to clinical years. I look forward when I get to do the 'real' thing. I can't wait to meet patients - know them, learn about their disease, perform the 'cool' skills that some appear in tv (although that's not the reality). I look forward to the more liberal study approach (i.e more self-directed learning). I don't look forward to writing essays and dissertations though.

Having said that, I'm quite sad that I won't have as much free time as I had these 2 years. I would have less time for myself and people around me. I'll probably find commitment being an issue since some of the things that I'm currently doing (Barts choir, Malaysian society, working part-time, etc) may clash with my medical studies. No matter what, I look forward to do a lot more of other things!

Ahh, medical student rantings!


Sunday, July 08, 2007

Why asian guys can't get white girls?

Something I found very funny (thanks Sarah!)



Well, it did get me thinking.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Move along!

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone sins
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
[x3]

(Move along)
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along

Kandas

There's time and place for everything,
But how can it go wrong? Where did it go wrong?
I question myself - do I actually make for the cut?
and I still am yet to know;
But my preparations will not go in vain,
As long as there's still chance,
I'll never cease to strive,
With everything that I have,
Again,
I choose move forward

Jabatan Korek dan Timbus beroperasi kembali!

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Holiday!

Finals week

Freedom!!

Durian in England!!!

Makan-makan : Hani's food is really good!

What kind of summer is this?!?!?!!!