It's time to say goodbye?

This past couple of weeks, I've came across plenty of eternal goodbyes . None of them involved me personally, but being in an observer's podium did stir my heart to blog my thoughts about it.

These goodbyes can be divided into 2 categories: impending and occurred. For the latter, my friend's dad passed away after suffering from cancer. Another patient I saw passed away after complications of pneumonia. I saw another patient being opened up in a post mortem by the coroner to determine the cause of his death. I heard of a student that died in a tragic accident in my student halls.

I have never talked nor met them, and yet the story of each of their lives does make me think a lot of my loved ones.

The former - impending byes - happened when I was in clinic when my consultant had to tell his patient diagnosed with mesothelioma - a nasty, inoperable disease of cancer of the lining the lung - the progress of his disease, and its ultimate outcome. The prognosis is bad - the maximum time he is left with is 9 years.

He seemed be calm about it, but I could see that his wife was holding his hand as tight as I would imagine as she would, never wanting to be separated, could anytime burst into tears. Her survival instinct was very strong, trying to take charge as much as she can to make her husband be as strong. She must be hoping that if only the doctor's diagnosis was wrong. If only this is all just a dream. If only this is just a scam show where there were hidden cameras just wanting to record their reactions upon told that the diagnosis is all but a joke.

But no. The doctor's - a consultant's, to be more precise - authority and knowledge could not stoop that low. The doctor's right, at least most of the time.

Being a medical professional does give an unspoken authority to tell whether someone is likely to die or not from something. The power to control how much information patients would need to know, where in an ideal world they should know all about their health. The authority to deny resuscitation attempts in a patient with end-stage disease (patients and their relatives would have a say in this of course, but then that is ultimately manipulated by what the doctor says); those very 3 letters uttered that make a big impact - D.N.R.

Almost. Being a doctor gives you the power to control life, and death. Almost. Miracles and faith fill the gap. All these are in varying proportions in every doctor. It's a privillage which must be used properly, guarded with humanitarian and spiritual wisdom, and a desire to do what is in best interest of the patient.